I’m Jealous of the People You See Every Day

Today’s Jealous July Blog is courtesy of author Jennifer Senhaji, who just had a new book release last week! It’s fitting that in invited her to be a guest on my blog in July, as her book is about long-distance love, and tell me you know someone who is or has been in a long distance relationship and it didn’t make them nuts wondering what the other person was doing – every waking moment? You know darn well jealousy is a living, breathing thing in those types of relationships. Which means this book is probably a fascinating read. I’m currently a little way in, and I’m looking forward to finishing it during my vacation!

Please welcome author extraordinaire, Jennifer Senhaj…

Choosing to Dream is the second book in the Sunset Dreams Series. The story revolves around Jen and Jake, their attempt to survive a long distance relationship, and all that comes with it.

Jealously. Insecurity. Anxiety. Frustration. But when they get to see each other: heart pounding bliss.

Yep, I know the feeling well. I was in a long distance relationship for almost two years. Two years. Back before there was free long distance apps like Facetime, Tango, or Skype. I think it was even back before cell phones. To top it off, the long distance was really long distance. Like 6,000 miles. I was in San Francisco, California and he was in Rabat, Morocco.

I was in a constant state of anxiety: Checking my voicemail. Checking my email. He used to have to go to an internet café to send one and I would log in to my email every five minutes at work to see if I had a new message. Checking my mailbox, because yes—we used to send snail mail back and forth to each other.

Add in an eight-hour time difference. Yep. That was me. It’s a wonder we made it work.

Did we write lots of love letters? Yes. Did we fight constantly about nothing? All the time. Long distance relationships breed all types of insecurities.

And because I was so busy agonizing over when I was going to see him again or talk to him, every other activity and interest in my life fell by the wayside. Nothing was fun anymore. One phone call and my time with friends would be interrupted. Those same friends put up with hours and hours of me bitching and moaning about how much I missed him.

And the phone bills… My God.

I was lucky. We got married and my long distance love moved across the world to be with me. But it was a risk.

Then, years later, I watched my daughter suffer through the same thing, only for a lot longer. Years longer.

Long distance relationships are no fun. They are full of heartache and can drive you to the brink of insanity.

But, if you’re lucky, there still may be a happily ever after at the end of it.

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? Did it work out? Why or why not?

Choosing to Dream Cover

 

Title: Choosing to Dream

Series/Volume: Sunset Dreams Series/Book 2

Author: Jennifer Senhaji

Release Date: July 17, 2015

Genre: Contemporary Romance

Amazon Buy Link: http://amzn.com/B0103BEN9Y

YouTube Book Trailer: https://youtu.be/IGA67m1l98Y

Blurb: Jenna Morris and Jacob Walker have finally given in to the flames of passion licking at their heels. But they’re only allowed one, blissful week together before the responsibilities of Jen’s café and Jake’s new film wrench the new lovers from each other’s arms.

Struggling to keep insecurities at bay whilst involved in a long distance relationship with one of Hollywood’s most eligible bachelors is tough enough. Dealing with Bethany Phillips, ex-supermodel turned actress and Jake’s new costar is almost unbearable.

They say love can move mountains, but can it bridge the gap that fame, jealously, and thousands of miles between them has caused?

 

Jennifer's Author PhotoAuthor Bio: Jennifer Senhaji was born and raised in San Francisco, CA, and is married with two children. If she’s not singing along at the top of her lungs to whatever is playing on the radio, you can find her making music playlists at home on her laptop. She works full time and splits her spare time between family, reading, blogging, and writing. Other than English, Jennifer speaks Spanish, Moroccan, and a little French. She loves to travel, but doesn’t do enough of it and will weave places she has gone or wants to go into her stories. Reading has been a passion for most of her life and she loves to write. She calls herself Your Sweet and Spicy Romance Author because she loves the sweet nuances of new love, but also is a bit of a voyeur and wants to be in the bedroom when the characters finally come together.

Website www.jennifersenhajiauthor.com

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/jsenhaji13

Twitter https://twitter.com/jsenhaji13

Blog: http://jennifersenhaji.blogspot.com

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/jennifersenhaji

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/Jsenhaji

Amazon https://www.amazon.com/author/jennifersenhaji

WordPress https://jsenhaji13.wordpress.com/

Jealousy In Writing – with Author Lauren Greene

First of all, let me say thank you to Tami for inviting me to guest blog today. And a little apology to Tami, because I was severely delinquent in sending her this post. You see, I had a lot of trouble figuring out what to write, and besides that I’m a writer and therefore I’m inherently a procrastinator.

Merriam Webster defines “jealousy”

: an unhappy or angry feeling of wanting to have what someone else has

: an unhappy or angry feeling caused by the belief that someone you love (such as your husband or wife) likes or is liked by someone else

When Tami asked me to write on jealousy, I was ecstatic. She asked me way back in March or April, because she’s a planner (of which I’m jealous). I thought I would write about a character or do a short story. But none came. This morning, July 10th, I woke up and thought I’d write about sibling rivalry which is a form of jealousy. I have the most experience in my own life with this, because I’m a baby sister, and I have three kids, so I’ve experienced sibling jealousy. Then I thought I’d write about my jealousy of other people’s hair. I don’t have hair (due to alopecia areata), and while it’s nice sometimes, when I see long, flowing hair, jealousy runs through my blood stream until I want to rip it from someone’s head and implant it on mine. Okay—not really. I mean, they do make some great wigs and all. I hemmed and hawed to some writer friends that I don’t normally write about jealousy and felt at a loss, and then I remembered Gideon.

Who is Gideon? Gideon is a character in my not-yet-edited work-in-progress who is jealous of anyone who is close to his girlfriend, Lana. At seventeen years old, he is already a sociopath struggling with normal teenage issues, as well as issues of conscience. In Little Birdhouses his jealousy leads to one bad decision after another until he has committed a crime he can’t undo. Gideon, in essence, is destroyed by his jealousy and destroys someone else’s life because of it.

When I wrote Little Birdhouses, I didn’t strive to make Gideon a jealous guy. I wanted him to be a sociopath. I wanted Lana to be so enthralled with him that she doesn’t even notice his flaws. (This is also called limerence, and boy do I have experience in that department!) And fell for Gideon is what Lana did. She fell for his Southern charm, his cocky smile, his boyish good lucks and she missed his jealous signs despite warnings from people she was close to. He separated her from her friends, slowly but surely, pulling her closer to him as she alienated her family and her other friends. She fell for him without realizing the tether holding her to him and pulling her further away from her loved ones.

And this is the way with jealousy, isn’t it? It makes one blind to reality. The jealous person is blind to their beholder’s desires, personal goals, and wishes and often acts only as a result of their jealousy. The object of the jealousy is objectified and becomes more of a dream than a goal. The object has to be obtained at all costs, despite the repercussions. People are killed in jealous rages all the time, and the line is, “I loved her so much that I couldn’t stand the thought of her with someone else.” Jealousy is an insecurity that rips a hole and pulls the trust and security out of a relationship, vein by vein.

In the end of Little Birdhouses, Gideon doesn’t get over his jealousy. He is wracked with mental illness and the jealous-streak remains engrained in who he is as a character. Jealousy destroys Gideon, but it also picks apart at Lana’s world and shows this teenager that love isn’t always comfortable and warm. Lana realizes at the end that Gideon may not even have loved her, that he was driven by mental illness and a blinding jealousy that almost leaves her dead.

Jealousy doesn’t have to destroy. It can be overcome with diligent work in a relationship. Communication is the key to get a relationship on track again, and trust. Because after all, jealousy indicates a lack of trust on the part of one or both of the partners in the relationship.

To hear more about Little Birdhouses, and the characters check out my blog below. I’ll be releasing excerpts of the book, teasers, and eventually a cover, as I prepare it for publication!

Links

Blog: www.laurengreenewrites.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/laurengreenewrites.com

Twitter: www.twitter.com/laurenegreene

The Devil Within Cover

 

The Greene Pen (Newsletter Signup): http://eepurl.com/bo4ILP — sign up before Lauren Greene Author PicJuly 31st, and you will be automatically entered into a drawing for a signed copy of my new book, The Devil Within.

 

True Confessions from the Green-Eyed Monster

It’s July, and that means a brand new blog theme. This month is Jealous July on my blog, and we’re starting with a guest post from a friend and fellow author. It’s interesting, when I came up with the idea of featuring specific themes on my blog each month, I made it simple: I used words starting with the same letter as the month. Mad May, Jello Shot June, Jealous July, Anything Goes August, etc.

Then, when it came time to invite other authors to takeover my blog, I considered the words I’d chosen. Mad May, I decided, would focus on antagonists, such as whether it’s how authors write them or what made them tick. It’s my opinion that a great story needs a fabulous antagonist. Jello Shot June was another easy one – so many books involve drinking, whether it causes characters to make good or bad decisions, or one of the characters is a bartender or restaurant owner by trade. I gathered lots of new drink recipes from that feature.

And then there’s Jealous July. In truth, I presumed authors would feature characters from their books. Jealousy is a powerful emotion, and it’s a great motivator to move a story forward. In fact, jealousy is a key aspect of the book I am currently working on (Lightbearer #4). It’s an especially common aspect of romance novels.

While that is, indeed, what most of my guests will discuss this month, it is not what my very first guest chose to write about. And in truth, I’m super excited to bring you her guest post, because as I read it for the first time, I thought, I feel exactly the same way. Because she wrote about jealousy – her own jealousy. You know, reality. The way we have all felt (or do feel) at one time or another. It’s such a real post, so honest, and so raw. And I’m so proud she chose to let me publish it on my blog. With that intro, I bring you Sheri Williams, and her Jealous July guest post:

Today I’m going to talk about the dark side of being an author. Or even better, being an author who has a lot of friends who are authors. Friends who have sold more books. Or gotten signed to a really good publishing house. Or who have hit the top of the Amazon best sellers list. Friends who have done all that while I’m still plugging away, trying desperately to get people to see me standing next to them. Jealousy. It’s an ugly thing. Hell I don’t even like the look of the word. It stares at you, looking deep, and finding all those little black spots in your soul that you thought you had under control.

And no one talks about it. No one acknowledges that it’s normal. Cause it is. It’s an absolutely normal part of the human condition. We all try to fight it. We all try to deny it, but it’s there. Never going away. I’m not saying it’s good or cool. It’s not. But it’s not the worst thing in the world, either. I’m not a liar. I’m not a thief. I’m not a murder. But I am jealous. I want to be doing great. Selling books. Winning awards. Going to conferences. But right now, all I can do it keep working toward those goals. Because someday I will get there. And it will more than likely be with the help of those I am jealous of. Because I love them. And they are awesome. And despite my jealousy, I am also proud as fuck of them. Because they are doing it. Every day working toward the same goals.And I bet if you asked and they chose to be honest, they might admit to being a tiny bit jealous, too.

Jealousy PicAnd ya know what? I’m gonna own that shit. I am jealous. It doesn’t make me love you or respect them less. If anything it makes me work harder. And anything that makes me work harder is a good thing in my mind. And now it sounds like I’m saying jealousy is a good thing, and I’m not sure if that is true. But for me, in this one case, being jealous of my friends’ accomplishments is making me work harder so I can have those accomplishments, too, (not the same exact ones, that would be greedy) and those opportunities that come with being accomplished. So there. That’s my big secret. I love my author friends. But I’m jealous of their success. But, I’m not letting it eat at me and tear me down. I’m using it as a kick in the ass to get me to their level. So then maybe someone starting out will be jealous of me, too. And maybe I’ll extend the same hand my friends have given me and I’ll help someone out. Because that would be awesome! Don’t you think?

~~~~

Sheri Williams Author PicSheri Williams is an author who suffers from self diagnosed Author Multiple Personality Disorder. She started writing Romance, sweet and sexy, and has since started Gothic Horror, with a side project in Psychological Horror.

As well as being a writer, she is a wife, a mom, a geek. When not writing she can be found playing outside with her two daughters or binging on BBC shows on Netflix.

She is currently working on two projects for Booktrope’s new Forsaken Imprint, and a short that will be a part of Bewitching Desires, an anthology put out with some fellow Writing Wenches.

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