I just want a minute to myself… Okay, not really.
For those of you who don’t know, my life inexplicably changed about six weeks ago, when my thirteen-year-old son died. Yeah, it sucked. It still does.
Not that I’ve had time to wallow in that fact. Save for those precious moments in the bathroom and my stupid-long commute to the day job, I haven’t had a minute to myself since the day it happened…Wait, I forgot about the mornings. Used to be, my son and I got up at the same time and left the house at the same time each day. Now, I’m the first up and I’m walking out the door just as my husband and daughter are dragging their tired not-morning-people butts out of bed.
Also used to be, I treasured my alone time. Liked it. Craved it. I was one of those intro and extroverted people. Give me a crowd, and I’ll do my damndest to make them laugh. Give me a few hours all to myself, and I’ll get lost in the plot of my latest book and wish I could never, ever leave.
Now, I hardly know what it’s like to get lost in a book, whether reading or writing. My friends and family won’t let me. Everybody’s afraid to leave me alone. Or maybe that’s my perception. Maybe they genuinely are concerned. Really, though, I know they all just want to help, however they can. And nobody knows how to help, because who the hell plans for something like this? So everybody figures they need to keep me occupied so I won’t think about it.
And they’re right. And I love them for it. I appreciate it, too. I am amazed by the number of (already strong) friendships that have somehow managed to strengthen in the wake of the life-altering disaster my life became a few weeks ago.
But that introvert is still in there, too. And she’s desperate to get lost in a book. One she wrote—or is almost done writing—would be nice, because I’m about due to schedule another release. I don’t like to keep readers waiting too long between books.
Or, hell, reading a book would be nice, too. Cover to cover. Entirely immersed. So hooked I can completely and utterly forget about the real world for a few hours.
I just need to make sure it has a happy ending. Because I need a few of those right now.
Tami Lund is an author, wine drinker, and is trying really hard to write blog posts that contain a touch of humor.